Confusing Relationships!

In my 22 years, I have seen multiple cases where the relationship between men and women changed as they became close. I know enough men now to make this statement. People tend to assume that, I am a nerd who is not so open about understanding the relationships and sexual tensions between men and women. Well, I was not exposed to too much sexual content as I grew up nor intend to consume such resources in the near future. That does not mean I do not understand anything.

I observed a weird pattern repeating multiple times in my surroundings i.e. "The so-called Bro- Sis Relationship". Let me state some truths according to various observations before making any statements. When a boy and girl grow up together as a brother, sister or cousin, it is less likely to get sexually attracted. They love each other immensely but cannot perceive them sexually. But if you meet someone as an adult, you likely tend to get attracted. Just because you consider your friend a sister, does not mean that there will be no attraction.

There is a lot of stigma in male-female interaction in the society. To maintain a good status people tend to call their male or female friends bro/sis so that they are in a safe zone. Now that there is no judgment from society, they become close and get attracted to each other. 

Is this wrong?

Yes, because the brother and sister relationship is not understood. It is a common notion among men to be afraid of Rakhi because someone will tie it. Women also take this opportunity to reject men they are not attracted to. Well, this shows the tension we have in our society.

What can we do about it?

Do not give a bro/sis tag when you meet a stranger. They can be friends/boyfriend/girlfriend, so take your time in understanding people, even if you do not have an intention to get attracted, do not say it for the sake of it. 

If you ask me, " Can I not have a bro/sis from another mother"?

I believe it is difficult to generalize. I learnt about this kind of bro-sis attraction while I was in B.tech. To my surprise, I am still witnessing a few. My college was strict and tended to look at every incident with a magnifying lens. The male-female interaction had a lot of stigma and I observed this pattern in the students in such environments. Not just in college but if they had strict parents or when they tried to suppress the attraction by calling the opposite gender either bro/sis, I observed this pattern.

It is a better option to communicate rather than make it complicated. You are an adult and you have the freedom to express what you feel. Everyone doesn't need to like you.

There is a culture to start a relationship with attraction. Now that everyone has become very clear on what they need out of the relationship, casual relations and friends with benefits satisfy their desire. It is not wrong to set the intention straight. At least this post helps you to come out of such immature acts. 

I am not interested in casual relationships, friends with benefits or hook-ups, just to put things straight to someone who recently asked me. It is individual priority at the end of the day. I am not against anyone who is following it. Just because you are fine with casual stuff does not make you open-minded and me a narrow-minded person. FYI, westernization is not open-mindedness.

Writing this is a little bold move. What I mentioned here regarding opposite gender dynamics. Same gender dynamics are different. I thought this could help and made the move to post it. If you were in the bro/sis kind of relationship, it is time for you to understand yourself better. I am not here to judge you but to accept and help you make better decisions. Life is all about learning ;)

FYI, I am no Babaji!
A long way to learn and grow....

Buckle up, have a great Sunday!